Satan's Blessing - Part 7
19 October 2004. My new love has been surprisingly quiet for just under two weeks. I guess it takes a while to work through all your marks. I think thirteen days is more than enough time for me to be investigated for fraud, and for my equipment to be used to trap my associates...
19 October 2004
(16:22:18) fords_inc: hello hi chisel
(16:33:17) Chisel: Hello - who is this please?
(16:33:34) fords_inc: ITS ME CHISEL
(16:34:04) Chisel: This is the UK Fraud Squad. This computer has been confiscated for further investigation.
(16:34:25) fords_inc: nopeot like that this is elizabeth
(16:34:40) Chisel: Please let us know your full name, and contact details so that we can contact you as part of the investigation.
(16:34:40) fords_inc: u remember chisel
(16:34:52) fords_inc: kool
(16:34:54) Chisel: This is not Chisel. Chisel has been arrested.
(16:35:00) fords_inc: chisel are u under cover
(16:35:10) fords_inc: why is he
(16:35:28) Chisel: We are not messing about here. Chisel has been implicated in a massive money laundering ring.
(16:35:42) fords_inc: fuck that he cant?
(16:35:51) fords_inc: i aint belive u
(16:35:52) Chisel: We need to speak to all of his contacts. Please supply your full contact details.
(16:36:03) fords_inc: this is all lies
"Yes, you're right this is a lie. DAMN! Your cunning trick caught me out..." Yes, that line was so close to catching me out. I paused for a moment and gathered my wits. There's no fooling Elizabeth (who interestingly called herself Jane in the past).
(16:36:18) Chisel: I'm afraid this is not a joke
(16:36:18) fords_inc: c mon this is elizabeth plz
(16:36:34) fords_inc: stop kidding me plz talk
(16:36:37) fords_inc: who are u
(16:36:58) Chisel: My name is DC Russ McCarthy
Sorry to the two people who's name's I merged to get the name of my DC. I didn't have much time to consult my List Of Official Sounding Names.
(16:38:22) Chisel: You are required to submit the details I requested earlier
(16:39:48) Chisel: Please do not force us to track your internet connection ourselves. We do not appreciate the time wasted.
(16:39:59) fords_inc: FUCK U
The swearing starts to become more regular - and I thought she loved me. I guess she doesn't like to roleplay...
(16:40:10) fords_inc: fuck ur mum
(16:40:21) fords_inc: i aint in the uk i am in the USA mutha fucker
Why on earth would I have thought that they're in the UK? If they were in the UK they'd be picking up their own gifts from Dell, and getting money from their brother would be much easier than dealing with me all this time. Still, "in the usa", now I'll never be able to find them. Oh woe is me!
(16:40:34) fords_inc: stop all this fuck
(16:40:45) fords_inc: talk to me chisel why are u doing this to me
(16:40:54) fords_inc: i have a big somthing coming
(16:40:59) fords_inc: i wanna tell u plzzzzzzzzzzz
(16:41:05) Chisel: I have told you already. This is not Chisel. Chisel has been arrested.
(16:41:15) fords_inc: ok
(16:41:24) fords_inc: open the cam and let me see u to belive
(16:41:34) fords_inc: if u do that ill belive u ok
(16:41:36) Chisel: Supply your contact details now
(16:41:41) fords_inc: fuck u
(16:41:47) fords_inc: ]open the mutha fucking cam
(16:42:02) Chisel: We did not find any camera attached to the machine when we confiscated it
(16:42:12) fords_inc: where are u at now
(16:42:40) Chisel: My office, in the fraud department, in London.
(16:43:06) fords_inc: cuz i am satanist/spriritualist and i possesed spiritual power to send thunder kill ur ass if u annoys me ok
Uh-oh, it's that universally feared combination - "satanist/spriritualist"!
(16:44:00) fords_inc: if u do u make me belive its all tru
(16:44:07) Chisel: We will contact you shortly.
(16:44:23) fords_inc: but if u lied mutha fucker u get killed immediatelly by thunder
(16:44:35) fords_inc: u make me know u are lying ass hole
(16:44:58) Chisel: Thank you for your time
Run! Hide! It's death by thunder!!
(16:45:24) fords_inc: ass hole
(16:45:29) fords_inc: u think i am crazy
(16:45:36) fords_inc: fuck u mutha fucker
(16:45:40) fords_inc: talk to me
(16:45:51) fords_inc: u make me annoys here
(16:46:00) fords_inc: and i have known ur mum name
(16:46:13) fords_inc: amd ur date of birth from my satanis spritism here
(16:46:15) Chisel: You are impeding a government investigation.
(16:46:27) fords_inc: u annoys me ass hole
(16:46:35) fords_inc: u are dying in sleep to nite
(16:46:42) fords_inc: i swore with my life ok
(16:46:50) fords_inc: if u wakes up tommorow morning
(16:47:05) fords_inc: mutha fucker call this number and shit my mum ass ok
(16:47:50) Chisel: Threats against a UK government official are punishable by up to 5 years in prison. Please be careful what you say. I will not act upon your first offence.
Now it's moved on from Death by Thunder to death in my sleep, presumably a rather loud rumble will be the cause still. We'll mention prison terms and see how they respond. Will they back down gracefully? Will they continue with the threat of a rather loud noise? Read on and find out.
